Your vows are the heart and soul of every wedding ceremony-it’s the tissue moment where gets everyone misty-eyed – aunties – mums and dads – and even you!
As a wedding Celebrant in York and Yorkshire, some couples arrive to me bursting with ideas and ready to write vows that would make Shakespeare proud. But what if that’s not you? What if you’re staring at a blank page wondering whether to go full “to have and to hold,” channel Beyoncé with a confident “I got this, babe,” or land somewhere in the middle?
In this blog, I’ll walk you through the art of writing your wedding vows, with plenty of guidance, inspiration, and support from me along the way.
What are wedding vows?
Wedding vows are the promises a couple makes to each other during their wedding ceremony. They’re the emotional centrepiece of the day-the moment where you speak from the heart, share your hopes for the future, and declare your love and commitment in your own words (or with a little help from tradition!).
Vows can be traditional, modern, funny, romantic, poetic, or plain and simple. There’s no right or wrong way to do them-what matters is that they feel true to you.
Whether you’re promising to be each other’s biggest fan, give up the last malteser, or simply to love and stand by one another through whatever life brings, your vows are a reflection of your unique relationship.
Some couples choose to write their own vows, others prefer to use tried-and-tested wording. Many go for a mix of both. Whatever you choose, your vows are a beautiful opportunity to create magic and romance, and to mark the start of your married life with words full of meaning.
A Little Bit of History
Did you know that some of the oldest traditional wedding vows in England come from the medieval church? In fact, the dioceses of Sarum (Salisbury) and York had their own wedding manuals. As a wedding celebrant in York and Yorkshire, I think it’s pretty brilliant that my home city was right at the forefront of wedding tradition!
Back then, the Church of England usually gave couples a choice of wording. You could promise to “love and cherish”… or) the groom could promise to “love, cherish, and worship,” (that’s a good one!) while the bride promised to (brace yourself) “love, cherish, and obey.” Umm… I’m not sure that particular version has aged all that well-but no judgement if it still works for you!
Ok – a bit of AI poetic licence here for anyone who knows York Minster and is thinking Whaaat!??
Why Vows Matter
At its core, getting married is all about making promises. Your vows are the moment in the ceremony where you get to say, “This is what you mean to me, and this is what I promise to you.”
Whether they’re funny, poetic, traditional, or totally original, your vows are the heartbeat of your wedding day-the part that stays with you and your guests long after the confetti’s been swept up.
How I can help you
However you’d like me to!
Some couples are confident writers and know exactly what they want to say. Others stare at a blank page and wonder if “I promise not to steal the duvet” is enough (spoiler alert: it totally can be).
As your wedding Celebrant I’ll provide a document full of vow examples to get your ideas flowing. Some couples use them as inspiration, others pick and personalise a version that feels right, or simply choose the vows that fit. Together, we’ll find the words that feel just right for you-authentic, heartfelt, and 100% you!
Making a Start
Every journey begins with a single step – and your vows are no different. If you’re not sure where to begin, try this simple exercise:
- Think about 3 things that are important to you in your relationship
- Consider 3 things you love about your partner
- Write about 3 things you hope for in your married life
Then, for a personal twist, add something unique or quirky-maybe a shared hobby, an in-joke, or that time one of you locked the keys in the car again.
Cracking On With It!
Most couples book their weddings around 18 months in advance, so you’ve got plenty of time. That said, I’ll usually ask you to start thinking about your vows around 4–6 months before the big day.
By then, most of the practical stuff (flowers, cake, chair covers…) is sorted, and you can finally turn your attention to the good stuff-the romance!
Yes, I will give you a deadline. And yes, I will check in to see how you’re getting on. That’s what I’m here for!
Make Time-and Enjoy It
Some couples like to plan a cosy evening or weekend away to write their vows together. Others prefer to keep them a surprise until the ceremony. And a few… well, they scribble them down on the back of an envelope. Whatever works for you!
Just remember: these are your promises to each other. There’s no right or wrong-only what feels right.
Real Wedding Story
Gill and John were getting married after 20 years together and wanted a ceremony that felt simple, heartfelt, and traditional. Rather than writing their own vows, they chose from a selection I provided-picking the words that best reflected their relationship and vision for the future. In the end, they decided to speak the same vows to one another, creating a beautiful sense of unity and balance.
I promise to be a true and faithful partner,
from this day forward,
in all life’s circumstances
as we face them together.
In the joys and sorrows,
the good times and bad,
in sickness or in health,
I will always be there for you,
to comfort you, love you,
honour and cherish you,
now and forevermore
They had a wonderful wedding with their promises to each other totally at the heart!
Denise’s Take
Your vows are the heart of your ceremony and the words you’ll carry into married life. So take your time, have fun with it, be romantic (or cheeky, or poetic, or heartfelt), but make sure that your personalities shine through. And don’t forget that as a wedding Celebrant -it’s my job to help and guide you.